Just a hard time...

My brother's sudden passing next week, feeling guilty that I got angry with him and frustrated with him, and stressed about him so much. And knowing I should have treated the situation with my sweet brother a little better. Yes he did have an addiction, but that is NOT all he was. He had a disease- I think even worse than cancer- and he tried so hard to overcome it. He has a huge heart and the funnest sense of humor. Yes, he did frustrate us a lot that he was not living up to his inborn potential...and he had a lot!!!  But he also has a kind and good soul. He is a great person and he will leave a HUGE hole in my heart forever. I am so grateful I have the gospel in my life and that I know the plan of salvation and that our Savior died for each one of us so that we could repent and try to be better each day and also be able to be resurrected and live together again. And I so want to see Jason again. I hope he knows that. And Jason, never worry that we won't forgive you...instead, please forgive me! I could have handled things better. I know this. I hope that I can get over my silly faults and maybe care about others a little more. Not take things so seriously. And always remember the joy Jason brought into our lives. I know I will continue to talk to him a lot. I know he is busy with other work though but I also know he is aware of our family. I have a 6'4" angel watching over me along with my cute dad who is 6'. Tall angels who love me are good!