Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Just a hard time...

My brother's sudden passing next week, feeling guilty that I got angry with him and frustrated with him, and stressed about him so much. And knowing I should have treated the situation with my sweet brother a little better. Yes he did have an addiction, but that is NOT all he was. He had a disease- I think even worse than cancer- and he tried so hard to overcome it. He has a huge heart and the funnest sense of humor. Yes, he did frustrate us a lot that he was not living up to his inborn potential...and he had a lot!!!  But he also has a kind and good soul. He is a great person and he will leave a HUGE hole in my heart forever. I am so grateful I have the gospel in my life and that I know the plan of salvation and that our Savior died for each one of us so that we could repent and try to be better each day and also be able to be resurrected and live together again. And I so want to see Jason again. I hope he knows that. And Jason, never worry that we won't forgive you...instead, please forgive me! I could have handled things better. I know this. I hope that I can get over my silly faults and maybe care about others a little more. Not take things so seriously. And always remember the joy Jason brought into our lives. I know I will continue to talk to him a lot. I know he is busy with other work though but I also know he is aware of our family. I have a 6'4" angel watching over me along with my cute dad who is 6'. Tall angels who love me are good! 

3 comments:

cameron raymond said...

I am so sad and sorry to here this horrible news. Jason was a good friend. He is one of the best guys I have ever met. He has such a strong and great soul. I have not seen him in 10 years, do to moving out of the state. I often think of him and the great times we had. I am not too sure what happened. God, please bless Jason and his family.

Sincerely,
Cameron Raymond

Lori said...

thanks cameron. Jason had a huge trial in his life with an addiction that he could not overcome. He does have a strong spirit and soul and it is living forever. we miss him so much. thanks for caring about him.

marci said...

I knew Jason at Highland Ridge in 2007. For those 4 weeks, we became very close. He once told me that people can get to know one another well in such a situation. I felt that I knew him. We laughed a lot and played a wicked game of volley ball. With Jason being 6'4" I made sure I was always on his team. I've missed him since and I am sorry for your loss, so very sorry.

Regards,

Marci