Sunday, May 10, 2009

A Little Tough of a Day Today

Mother's Day today was a good one to celebrate my sweet mom. We all gathered at her house today after church. Of course there was an empty spot because Jason wasn't there. Though I like to think he was there in spirit. And yes, I still feel him close by. No question. But I could tell it was a bit emotional for sweet Mom because Jason was missing from the loud bunch of us. I think it was a tender day for all of us. I know I felt the inevitable tears welling in my eyes at times. But then that is almost a daily occurrence for me. Certain things trigger the emotion. Like driving to mom's I saw a white Rodeo SUV and I was picturing Jason driving his. Or when my lawn mower happened to start right up yesterday after a long winter's nap, right away my first thought was that Jason did it for me or helped me out. I know, it might be silly to think that, but that is how I feel.
I think this will keep happening to me for quite a while. I think it is part of the process. Love you Jase! And I miss you. Stay near by us all for a long time! I like the comfort of feeling that you are near by.

4 comments:

Jenn said...

I'm sorry it was such a bittersweet day for you. I've never lost someone that close to me, so I can't say I understand. But I do feel for you. I can imagine that it must be excruciating at times. But I'm so glad you keep feeling him near. I'm sure he is watching over you and so grateful that you love him and miss him so much!

Julie Baldwin said...

Even though my dad has been gone since '91 I still feel like he is there helping me out all the time. Hang in there.

Erin said...

I know for sure that they are there watching over us and helping out often! I have been thinking of the Temple often a glimpse of what heaven is like... there is not a single spot in the Temple where you can get lost! Someone is ALWAYS there to assist you! I know there are loved ones from the other side doing exactly the same thing for us here! I just know it! :) I know Jason is watching out for your family! "Look" for him and you will feel him!

Lori Sume said...

Thanks everyone. i will look for him and i will always want him to feel close by. I know he is watching over each of us in our family. no question!