Yes, I do wonder what you are doing now. I know you are progressing and doing amazing things that we can't imagine. I know you are watching over us. I know that birthdays don't really matter to you anymore. I know that you miss us. I know you know we miss you. I know that we are still shocked that we can't see you everyday. But I do know that even though your body is resting, your spirit is truly alive. You are alive. No question. I am glad you let Karen know that. And in the experiences that Wy Wy has had that testifies to me that you are very much alive. I know we feel you near us everyday. I know that you want to hug each of us and tell us that everything is OK. That you are better than OK. That you are so grateful that you don't have to deal with your disease anymore and that you are happy and finally able to move forward and that you are able to become the person we know you are that you were afraid to be. We are very happy for you but we will always miss you. I am sorry I didn't understand your disease fully and that I had a hard time separating you from your disease a lot of times. I miss the laughs we had. I loved that day when we were in your beater truck and you pretended you were going to race this guy beside us who was in this fancy red sports car. I could not stop laughing. I miss it when you were the real Jason--I am so happy for you now because you are the real Jason every day now and I know you are so relieved. I am glad you now know that Heavenly Father and our Savior love you. I know you didn't really believe that before...that you couldn't forgive yourself. But now you know for sure, Bumper. I am sad that when we tell some people what you struggled with your disease they just don't understand how you had to deal with it every waking minute. How it is so hard to understand how you fought it each day. Even being your sister, I struggled at times trying to understand. But I also knew how hard it was for you. I could see it in your eyes. I am proud of you for trying so much to overcome your battle. So proud! I know that Heavenly Father knew that you had suffered enough and that it was your time to be back with him. But we can't help missing you every day. Every minute. I am glad we are all sealed together as a family forever.
So I hope that Dad and your Uncle Les and all our family and friends that have passed on will all give you a hug today. I figure you can all hug each other on the other side. Dad, give Jase an extra big hug today from all of us. We love you and miss you both so much. So much.
Happy birthday, Jase.
1 comment:
What a sweet letter. I'm sure your brother and dad and all the others were thinking of you too!
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